Monthly Archives: December 2012

Cosmic Dawn

New Agers in Mexico say the end of the Mayan calendar will herald a ‘cosmic dawn.’ “Mexican Cosmic Dawn? Yes, please,” said New Stoners in Colorado and Washington.

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Mayan Research

All this talk about the end of the world made me do a little research on the Mayans. Here’s what I learned – pretty pyramids, crappy calendar, where the hell did they go?

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Amazonethus

This week S&P praised Greece’s continuing efforts to cut spending and raised the country’s credit rating to B-minus. “Stupendous!”, shouted Amazonethus, the Greek god of online shopping.

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Twitter Archive

Twitter confirmed they are currently testing allowing users the ability to download a full archive of their tweets. That’s fantastic news for the millions of users who would like a permanent record of everything they don’t remember saying when they were drunk.

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Merry McChristmas

HuffPost Business reported that McDonald’s company-owned restaurants will be open Christmas Day, but the company won’t be paying its workers holiday overtime. Merry McChristmas to you too, Ronald. Just one more reason I don’t like clowns.

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Breakfast Hangover Remedies

Holidays bring holiday parties, which sometimes bring on hangovers. Just in case, here are few of my personal favorite “hair of the dog” breakfast hangover remedies: Oatmeal Martini Boilermaker Biscuits and Old Fashioned Gravy Frozen Egg Whites Daiquiri Highball Haggis Gin and Grits Scotch and Soda Bread Toast Honey Bunches of Bourbon Asparagus, Cheese and […]

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Lindsay Lohan Storage Locker to be Auctioned

Lindsay Lohan’s storage locker is scheduled to be auctioned off to cover $16,000 in overdue fees the actress owes the storage unit company. In case you’re interested in bidding, here are some things you might find in Lindsay Lohan’s storage locker: Impressive collection of bright orange jump suits Box full of fake IDs naming Lindsay […]

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Ballard Searches for Ark

Robert Ballard, the archaeologist who discovered the Titanic, has now set his sights on proving the biblical story of Noah’s ark. Given Ballard’s impressive track record of finding the final resting places of many famous ships lost at sea, his success seems plausible. James Cameron apparently thinks so. The Oscar winning director is reportedly already working […]

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Biggest Stick in the League

Last night Steve Young sternly criticized the Houston Texans for their 42 – 14 loss to the New England Patriots on Monday Night Football. Young called the team’s performance “embarrassing” and asked, “Where is that dramatic fight for a team that thinks they have the biggest stick in the league?” I’m pretty sure he said…“STICK”. […]

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Cell Phones on Planes

Today a CNNMoney report noted that “20 years of testing still hasn’t definitively proved that cell phones, let alone any other electronic device, can cause aircraft interference…” The thing is, who really wants to be the guy on the plane that has to say, “Ooops! Well f**k me! I guess these things cause problems after […]

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