Lindsay Lohan Storage Locker to be Auctioned

Lindsay Lohan’s storage locker is scheduled to be auctioned off to cover $16,000 in overdue fees the actress owes the storage unit company. In case you’re interested in bidding, here are some things you might find in Lindsay Lohan’s storage locker:

  1. Impressive collection of bright orange jump suits
  2. Box full of fake IDs naming Lindsay as someone else. Anyone else.
  3. Box full of Playboy magazines, all January/February 2012 issues except for one dated December 1953
  4. Framed, autographed publicity photo of Jamie Lee Curtis from the movie, “Freaky Friday”. It reads, “To Lindsay, With you everyday is Freaky Friday! Love, JL”
  5. Impressive collection of purses stuffed with panties
  6. Address book with the names of Lindsay’s favorite paparazzi highlighted
  7. Old cell phones with the names of Lindsay’s favorite paparazzi on speed dial
  8. Enough boxes of various colors of hair dye to make a wooly mammoth look like a freakin’ rainbow
  9. Enough empty booze bottles to have gotten a wooly mammoth drunk enough to dye its hair like a freakin’ rainbow
  10. Blood-stained valet parking ticket from a NYC nightclub
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