Ballard Searches for Ark

Robert Ballard, the archaeologist who discovered the Titanic, has now set his sights on proving the biblical story of Noah’s ark.

Given Ballard’s impressive track record of finding the final resting places of many famous ships lost at sea, his success seems plausible. James Cameron apparently thinks so. The Oscar winning director is reportedly already working on a screenplay for the film which he will also produce and direct.

The movie will be titled, “Noah and the Ark”, and will star Leonardo DiCaprio as the heroic Noah. Kate Winslet will co-star as Noah’s wife, whom the Bible refers to as Noah’s wife.

The following sneak peak is allegedly an excerpt from the actual script which James Cameron accidentally left behind, along with a strange looking iPhone, at a Starbucks on Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles.




Establishing shot: The rain has stopped and the sky has begun to clear. Muffled sounds of restless animals can be heard from below deck as Noah leans out over the bow of the ark with his arms outstretched.

I’m King of the World! Woohoo! King of the World!
No really…there’s nobody left! I’m King of the World!

 Close on:

Noah’s wife appears through an open porthole. She has a stern look on her face as she shakes her head and sighs heavily.

Noah Ben Lamech! You get your ass back down here
right this minute and help me clean this shit up!

But…but….I’m King of the Wor…..

Uh Uh! Don’t you make me come up there!
I’ll make you think king of the world!
Now you get in here!


Unfortunately, that’s the only part of the script that could be salvaged. The rest was soaked in decaf soy latte and illegible.

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